Often times, Peers and colleagues in the coaching space ask me what it takes to effectively connect with my clients and how is it that I approach my questioning strategies. I explain that (not all) designed questions for the PNL Core Coaching Program are solely for the client’s benefit. There are also a set of internal questions designed to benefit me in order to enhance my understanding and connection with my clients. In fact, the questions I ask my clients are inextricably intertwined with the questions I ask myself. Both are equally important for the positive outcomes my clients enjoy.
I use a mix of internal and external questions such as: What are they telling me? What are they really trying to say? Why are they telling me all this? What are their motivations in this situation? How do they really feel about this issue? What is the emotional attachment here? How important is this to them? How committed are they to following through with this? What is the real underlying issue here? What do they fear? Why? What do they like or dislike about this? What do they actually believe about this situation? How do they expect me to react? Why?
These are examples of questions that I consistently work through that helps provide me with insight & guidance needed to effectively move the client through the stages of the coaching program. And, the answers I glean from these questions directly compels me to you ask the most appropriate questions to every unique client. In short, both external and internal questions work together.
What does this mean? Well, two conversations are happening at the same time. One is with my client and the other is with myself. This is not easy, but it’s a necessary step toward improving my effectiveness, connection and results with my clients as a professional coach.